Lisa Coleman | Choose Joy Now Network
- Apr 15, 2017

The top 3 reasons you haven't achieved your dreams

My business celebrated its 1 year anniversary in February 2017. I was proud of myself for pushing through all the lessons to be learned in one’s first year of business and still have strong passion to keep going. Prior to my 1 year anniversary I was very reflective on my journey to today. This self-reflection helped me see the top 3 things that held me back and also in some of the clients I support.

1. Perfectionism! I thought I had to know “all” the answers before I could start a business. Even as a trained pharmacist, I knew I didn’t graduate with all the answers to every question a patient might ask me, but I had the skills to investigate and figure out the answer. Somehow I could not apply this same belief to myself when it came to starting a business and I delayed my dream.

2. Fear! I had fear of the scrutiny of others if I decided to start a business. Due to this fear, I would try to find others already “doing things” and try to convince them to do what I knew deep down what I secretly wanted to do. I would tell them, “How about you have an event and I’ll help you put the agenda together and organize it.” I also had the fear of failure. Doing activities through other people helped me feel less “stressed”. Although I always gave my best, if people didn’t show up for the event or didn’t like the event, it wouldn’t be as painful because my name wasn’t on the event.

3. Not taking action! I was a pro at disguising procrastination as action. I was constantly reading books, going to events, watching videos etc on starting a business but I never took action. I essentially became a collector of information. I also allowed the normal demands of life be a welcomed distraction and excuse not to take action. I would say, I have a husband, 2 children and a full-time job, there is no additional time for me to focus on me or starting a business.

I finally turned all these 3 barriers around by working to change my mindset. I had to remind myself constantly that “perfection” only exists in the dictionary. Little by little I got comfortable with the notion that I have the skills to learn as I grow. I accepted my fear is a part of my growth and learned to manage it. The fear of failure and public scrutiny is human, but I learned to “feel the fear and do it anyway”. I would step out little by little doing things outside my comfort zone. For example, I previously was not on social media much at all and now I have been doing Facebook Live videos often (check me out). Each time I step out to do something outside my comfort zone, I get stronger in that area. You have to be mindful though to keep stepping out of your comfort zone to expand new opportunities for your life. Finally, in the end even if you overcome the barriers of perfectionism or fear you will not achieve your dreams if you do not take real action. Take action now. You must take time to figure how you can schedule time in your calendar to make time to work on your dreams. This may mean expanding your network of support. This may mean carpooling to help transport kids, cooking double batches and freezing meals or buying frozen meals so you are not cooking each night, hiring someone to help you sort out your mindset barriers and possibly the feelings of not being worthy to take action on your dreams.